Parting Thoughts

On my way home from work I take the L train to the G train. The G is shitty and only runs every fifteen minutes or so. It claims to be running every 8 minutes but it never ceases to let me down. So, when I get off the L at the Lorimer stop it's a mad dash to transfer to the G. The first person out of the train has a greater chance of making it to the G, assuming it's about to come. It usually does come, when I'm power walking like a determined granny in the mall. I usually miss it, most likely because someone is in my way. Then I'm stuck waiting for the next G train delaying what time I get home. Which brings me to my point. Eventually I start to resent people. I run down the stairs of the L and there is someone practically crawling, holding hands with their lover, cooing at each other, totally slowing me down. It then causes a chain reaction of train missing which could get me home a half hour later. So now when I get stuck behind anyone I automatically hate them, it's awful. I don't know if it's just me but I don't think I should resent or hate people for existing or walking at a different pace than I, but I do, here in New York. Then I wonder how I would feel in 10 years? If I would continue to hate at the rate in which I do now, would I start attacking people with my umbrella? Like scary Britney Spears with a beard? I guess I won't know. Maybe that's a good thing.


I put in my one week notice yesterday at work. It's weird. This was the third time I have told an employer that I'm moving out of state, but this is the first time that an employer said, "Why?". It's funny how we are all bred to think things about certain places. Growing up in Ohio you think, "I've got to get out of this cow town!". In Ohio you think New York City is the coolest place ever, you think California is the coolest place ever. When you grow up in California or New York you think that they are the coolest places ever and that Ohio is a cow town. Now, yes parts of Ohio are mostly farming, but California is almost all farms. And New York is just full of people who grew up in these farm areas pretending they didn't because they were raised to think being from New York is better. Where am I going with this? Ah, one week notice. It's a strange feeling leaving a place you work. You spend so much time there. I spent more time hanging out on the couch with my coworkers than I ever did hanging out with my friends. I'll miss them, well not all of them. Some of them I'm thrilled to never see again.

It's funny how living in a certain place can change a person so much. I imagine myself staying in New York. I imagine my pores getting larger and my nose hairs getting thicker. It's like evolution at work. Like how we are supposed to eventually not have pinky fingers or red headed persons, but faster and more rat-like. I imagine my attitude changing. My back curving. It's like natural selection or whatever, creatures adapting to their surroundings, like Asians or frogs. It's just so crazy that the place you live in can change you so much, make such a big difference. Like Eskimos. They evolved to wear large furry coats. Or if you're living somewhere like LA and it makes you so crazy that you stalk Paula Abdul and you end up killing yourself in her lawn. Where you exist is important, so is addressing your mental illnesses.



I basically have one more week left in New York City. It's funny how I dreamt of this experience all my life and now it's almost over.