Logan, OH

This past weekend Jon and I went an hour south to the Hocking Hills area, located in Logan, Ohio. I'm not really into camping, well that's not true, I hate camping, but staying in cabins I can do.
So, Jon took me down for a belated Valentines gift and in celebration of the end of my first quarter of school.

Our cabin was located atop a large hill accessible only by a long gravel drive, that we soon discovered was only able to be climbed by driving Yaris at full speed, with a "running start", as not to get stuck in holes.

The cabin itself was situated on its own 30 acres of land.

Everything is still dead here in the Midwest, so it looked like the set of a horror movie. Fantastic!

Jon immediately made himself comfortable on the porch.

The kitchen was very rustic. There weren't even cabinet doors. Like early settlers!

There also wasn't a television.

Or a shower! We were definitely roughing it.

There also weren't walls anywhere. Not even the bathroom. Jon brought up a good point, no walls around the toilet means the whole place is like a giant bathroom. Eva was all for this idea.

Don't flush your condoms, please.

Myspace photo!

The next morning we went hiking.

And I did the robot in the parking lot.

5'10 is really tall, Jon.




Naturally occurring rock stairs!

I said this reminded me of Fraggle Rock. Jon didn't agree.

So I made some jab about how he probably couldn't watch it because he was raised Baptist.

He said no, it was because he thought it was stupid.

I think I'm funny.

After a morning of refreshing outdoor activity, we headed to historic downtown Logan to stop at Walmart, the only grocery store, for some supplies to make dinner. We made a pit stop at The Olde Dutch Resturant and Banquet House for lunch. It was the scariest, most depressing place I've ever been in my life. I was too terrified to take pictures, or move even. The place was packed with small town, overweight Christians. Church must have just let out. I couldn't have felt more out of place if I had been wearing nothing but a hot pink thong (so luckily I kept my pants on). Needless to say, we sat very still and ate very fast.

After our midday scare, we were off to the spa for massages.

Piggy and Eddy decieded to stay at the cabin to play Little House on the Prairie.

That night we watched the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre (So much better than the Matthew McConaughey one). We didn't have any run-ins with any bears or any scary woodland creatures. Although, while we were sleeping, a wild mouse ate the white chocolate out of this box of chocolates we had, which was fine with me. I hate white chocolate anyways.

Going into the wilderness is fun. Being gay in a small town, scary.

Back to Columbus!

Tranny Panties

Hi.

I would like to start out by saying, aren't you sad little Alexis Grace was kicked off American Idol last night? Why not the blind guy? Just because he's blind doesn't mean he can sing, and who likes Bruce Hornsby anyway? My mom used to. Apparently blind people do as well. Oh, American Idol. So dumb, but yet I still keep watching.

It's my spring break. Spring break '09! Yeah! It's going to be off the hook. It's already pretty crazy, I mean, here I am on the couch writing a blog, then it's off to work. Next thing you know I'll be showing my nipples for beads or doing shots of sex on the beach.

So, yesterday, as part of my spring break madness, I took photos of our house. And here they are..
This is the house. This photo was taken in the winter. It's not snowing now, in fact, yesterday it was 75, but tomorrow it could be snowing.

This is the guest room. This is where you would sleep if I ever invited you to stay over.

This is the door out of the guest room. Next to it is a photo of an old woman with some sort of cyst or something on her eye. We take it down when my mom stays over.

This is the upstairs hall.

This is our bedroom. Keep out.

These are the tiny closets that run the length of our room.

This is where you would exit in case of an emergency.

This is where you would urinate or barf.

Wipe the seat.

Here you can see our neighbors slate tile roof.

This is where Jon makes me food.

Have you noticed our soothing paint color selections?

This is where I make drinks.

This is another place to pee them out.

This is where all the state dinners and lunches are given, there were almost two a month last year.

This is where we watch American Idol.

And my decapitated deer.

Oh, and my pencil cactus! It needs a pot. Be careful, if you break it open, it will burn you. Cool.

This is where Jon makes money to feed me.

In the afternoon sun comes through these gay stained glass windows.

And little rainbows go everywhere!

Spring come here finally!

Patio.

Piggles!

So, yeah. That's the house. Our lease is up in four months and we'll probably move. We have actually been thinking about buying something. There are some affordable, cute little houses in Clintonville. Heaven forbid I live somewhere for a whole year!

blog post number thirty one.

Eddy is perched on the sofa back mere feet from my ear making a licking motion in the air. Has she lost her little dog mind? Has her obsession for licking reached an all time high, or low? Or is she slowly licking away her rotten little teeth like decaying little ice cream cones? Either way, it's driving me insane. I'm trying to pick a topic for my 102nd paper this quarter. Oh, now she's licking me.

I somehow outed myself as a nonbeliever of religion in my English class today. We were in groups talking about another paper we are writing. We are always in groups at Columbus State. I don't know if this is just a community college thing. I hope, I hate working with others. I know they are trying to teach us how things really work in "the real world", but as someone who's already been in "the real world", I know that we don't get into groups with 19 year olds and talk about Anime. Whatever. I somehow mentioned religion and all the sudden was giving my opinion about it. I should know better. It was quiet. People love God.

I must say, I am so sick of winter. It's funny how I would romanticize it on the west coast. It was fun for a hot minute. The novelty of the fireplace, puffy snowflakes, twinkling Christmas lights, but for fucks sake, it's so gloomy here! I need a vacation stat or I'm asking for a Uhual for my next birthday.

Ankle Socks

Have you ever noticed that straight dudes love ankle socks? I know, right? I used to wear them in grade school. I have this weird thing about the toe seam in socks, if I can feel the seam go under my toes, I freak out. It drives me insane. So as a child I only wore those little ankle socks, that and sweatsuits. I would only wear sweat suits in solid colors. I had a thing against jeans. You know how they would sometimes give you "pants penis"? For some reason that made me uncomfortable. God, I am really weird. Well, lately I've noticed dudes wearing ankle socks and now that I'm thinking about it, I see it everywhere. It seems so weird. And it's always the most dudeiest of dudes. When I say dudes I mean bros, too. In my opinion those little socks are so gay, like you could glue little tassely balls on them and be on a grade school dance team. It just isn't masculine. I mean, they were my sock of choice during my multicolored sweatsuit phase. Gay.

It's Friday the 13th. OoOoo. But really, a commuter plane just crashed into someones house killing him and all 48 people on board. That's terrifying. I'm terrified. I hate flying. This is the second plane to crash in the last month. Granted, the last plane (Miracle on the Hudson) was, in fact, a miracle on the Hudson. Like Jennifer Hudson. Remember when that person killed her whole family? Friday the 13th is so creepy. I wonder whats happening to Jennifer Hudson today? She's probably at Dunkin Donuts ordering a frozen cappuchino and an eclair. That's mean. She's probably at Starbucks ordering a donut and a Frappuchino. She's classy now. Anyway, you knows she's totally paranoid today. I would be too. You know that donut is probably going to clog her arteries.

Tomorrow is Valentines Day. Jon and I are going out for Indian food. Everywhere in the city is booked so we're going to Indian Oven. I'm actually really excited. I love Indian food. I hope it's totally delicious like my favorite Indian restaurant Bombay, in San Diego, California.

I miss California.